if you're not the one

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?

If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call

If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings 

But I know you are here with me now

We’ll make it through 

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?

If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?

If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away 

But I know that this much is true

We’ll make it through 

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with

And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with

I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away

And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today

‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right

And though I can’t be with you tonight

You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

(yea, is there any way that i can stay in your arms?)

newbies

again, so looong time no post. hadn't found any idea what to post anyway.

maybe let's just start with most recent updates:

- march 26th 2009 : i'm officially his! now it's almost 2 months and my head's still stuffed with thoughts over him X)

- april 4th 2009 : found out that i was accepted in UI! after a long consideration (and also a light fight with daddy, fyi) i decided to dump SGU's scholarship and chose the hard-to-get UI. soon (just days ago) i finally knew that i did it right. i paid a visit to SGU's campus and it was just 2-floor-high! maann i can't imagine spending 4 years in a world that small. now the only prob left is CALLING MRS NEUMAIER TO CALL THE SCHOLARSHIP OFF!

- april 20th - 24th 2009 :  i had my national final. half of it was simply a total disaster, the other half, well i think i could handle that. now i can only wait and wait and waiiittttt..

- april 26th 2009 : my first time visiting UI with parents & little archie. after 2 visits (the 2nd was a week after the 1st) i finally found a good place for me to stay. IDR 500.000 a month, located right in front of the pathway to UI. one funny thing about it is the name : PONDOK PINK. kinda ridiculous, isn't it?

- may 8th - 9th 2009 : very first real fight with him. it was kinda weird (actually I WAS) but thank god i eventually found my sanity and we could get through it.

- may 11th - may 14th : school's final. when science & social kids had all their tests finished by 13th, me and my classmates got to wait for one other day. 14th was a total breaking free day, we were undescribeably happy but terribly sad at the same time. I GONNA MISS THEM ALL ESPECIALLY WHEN ONE BY ONE STARTS TO LEAVE. just wish that the afterparty plan will be fixed soon.

now i finally get my awaited freedom, but i simply have no idea what to do with that. any idea, folks?