Saturday, 26 February 2011

walau badai menghadang

so many obstacles in front of us on the way to Feb 22nd
last minute practice
lack of topic sources
more than 1,5 hr from here to there
ended up extremely exhausted after the trip
bunch of talented competitors out there
wrong ID call in the beginning
lost my voice due to too much laughing
late for the announcement day
got our wheels deflated, obviously NOT accidentally
that super heartless satpam
reached the venue RIGHT after the winner announcement was done.

but anyways, those all worth the surprise we got :

to whom I'm giving all my ♥ for now

Sunday, 20 February 2011


Dea : "Cita-cita aku udah berubah. Pokoknya ntar aku mau nikah sama jendral pajak, trus aku bawa seluruh keluarga besar Iskandar keluar negeri, di Amrik apa dimana kek gitu. Hiihh amit-amit deh kelamaan disini pokoknya ntar gak ada lagi Iskandar di Indonesia gw bawa pergi semua gw abisin!"

Dad : "Hidih orang pajak udah tuwir semua kali."

Dea : "Yang penting duitnya gak bakal tuwir kan?"

(On a family chit chat about Indonesia and its out-of-mind policies)

Saturday, 19 February 2011

Gegen die Wand

Gegen die Wand (Germany, March 2004)
literally translated : "against the wall". English title : Head - On
Director : Fatih Akin (based on a book written by himself)
Cast : Birol Ünel, Sibel Kekilli, Catrin Striebeck

this movie was actually intended to be an assignment for Contemporary German Culture (Budaya Jerman Kontemporer) subject.

some asked, why analyzing a movie? why about Turks in Germany?
well I can't provide you a perfect answer since I skipped the first class meeting and I didn't get any introduction to this thingy. so I'll just sum it up like this (if you allow me to explain my presumed baseless theory) :
Turks in have been considered as "second-class" people since quite a long time, especially on times after World War II. Germany was extremely doomed and they needed to rebuild their country asap. that was why they called the Turks and invited them to the country, to fulfill the country's desperate need of workers. that was the origin of the term Gastarbeiter ("guest worker"), another name Germans called the Turks with. until now on, there's still an obvious gap between them two. how to describe the gap, I don't know, I'm not a German anyway #alibi

well then, about the whole movie, I found this worth to watch. you'll got not only brief picture of turkish culture and philosophy, but also a story about life, how people ruin they life and find back its meaning after long hard fight, how people might throw away their origin because of bitter past, how things (even the best well-planned ones) are so uncertain they could be exactly the opposite of your primary expectation.
simpler described : you'll learn how wild is the world out there.
and fyi, one more reason why I recommended this movie : you won't find a cliché Hollywood ending here. you'll see.

Sibel Güner
around 20 yr old. young free-spirited lady raised in a strict family with strong turkish influence. she can't stand staying in her house anymore, and she only finds one way to fetch her freedom : marriage. she plans to marry any turkish man, get out of the house, and live la vida loca. love isn't involved, that should be some kind like mutual symbioses. but as always, time changes everything.

Cahit Tomruk
around 40. lives such a messed up life after her wife's death. earns money by collecting empty beer bottles at a club. he refuses any kind of turkish culture and tries to be denial of his real identity. his daily activity only revolves around cigarettes, cocaine, and beers.

both meet in a hospital. Cahit drove under alcohol influence and accidentally crashed a wall. Sibel tried to commit suicide by cutting her veins. Sibel begs him to marry her. she doesn't care if he's a stranger, as long as she could be totally free. she promised that they'll live justlike roommates. for some reasons Cahit agrees. but as I've said far above, things doesn't go as well as they've planned. heart takes over their logic and nothing else matters to them.

the rest of the story, you'd better watch it yourself. I avoid to be a spoiler here.
one other thing that should be remarked : the movie contains explicit sex scenes. very explicit that I prefer to skip some of them. so make sure you watch it with "the right people", if you got what I mean.

there's only one thing that bothers me. between every scenes, in each transitions, you'll see a group of turkish musicians singing turkish songs in front of a river (or lake? not really sure).

1) okay I understand that they just wanted to emphasize the turkish atmosphere, but everytime this group appeared I instantly thought : can you please just carry on to the next scene? zzzzz. booooring.
2) it sounds sooo much like dangdut in some ways. I don't know why, try listen to it yourself.

anyways, I'm done with my thought about the movie. hope you get a clear bright depiction. if you want to watch it and can't find the file on internet, you can ask me for the .avi version, completed with English subtitles :)

Sunday, 13 February 2011

like, seriously, errr, really? this is so nyampah

just wanna share this :

and this :

I'm currently buffering for those both while having this continuous headache. thanks to this essay assignment. some of you might have seen me tweeting about it in the past several hours. one small part of me feels like exploding soon. another part reminds me to keep my head chilled and take a brief rest. another yells at me "why the hell you opened that video? and now you're BLOGGING? hell. what's with you?" oh yes, good question.

I think I can make something out of it.
the book 24 Wajah Billy suddenly popped up. just few seconds ago. then I came up with this :

11 Faces of Me : Pergolakan Hati Melawan SA
(Why 11? I can't think of another 13 ideas, besides I'm too lazy to think that much)

geeky me : (talking about assignment) "So, I guess it's people's right to choose whether they want to be religious or not. Not going to church on Sundays doesn't mean you're a criminal or what, right? So the gov should give us freedom to..."

whiny me : "Hey geeky can you please STOP? Fark it should we do this every week? May I enjoy my weekend in peace, s'il te plait? I already had enough German words to kill me by now. AARRGGHH!!!!!"

wise me : "Whiny don't you remember, who forced you to choose German at the first place? No one, as far as I could remember. So stop whining, just finish it with all of your effort. When you graduate you'll find all these very useful, trust me kiddo."

selfish me : "Well I'm not blaming my choice here. I just want to enjoy my weekend! I'm tired, I'm acutely insomniac, I've got other important things to do beside this shite. All I want is my regular weekend, coffee on Saturday, eat out with family, random blog surfing, anything. I don't care if it's useless. It's me, I don't care what others might say."

shopaholic me : "And don't forget shopping! Remember what mom said this morning? She wanted to fetch that discount on Harvey Nics. NAH! Grab the chance lah."

hedon / fatty me : "Then dinner at Social House! I want some steak. Oh, and a glass of red wine would be nice too. Then Crystal Jade bread for next morning's breakfast. Oh, also Red Mango for dessert. Strawberry sounds delicious. Emmm what else..."

ignorant me : "Geez you thought a lot. Don't you feel any headache, having THAT much thoughts spinning in you? Forget it lah. Relax."

cool me : "Yeah dude. Relax, will you? Know what, I'm thinking about going out somewhere right now. Maybe 7/11? I need something fresh, like Blueberry Slurpee. And some beer. And cigs. Black Menthol. I need those like a lot."

paranoid me : "Oh my God, cigs? Don't! You don't try that, NEVER. It's not good for your health. You want to die young, lady? And beers? You forgot your tummy probs? And look at your big tummy! You don't want it to be any bigger."

pelit me : "Yes I'm with you paranoid. Besides, you know how much a Slurpee costs? A pack of cigs? A bottle of Hein? You said you want to save some money for your next trip, I'm pretty sure. So instead of those, why don't you just get some Fruit Tea in fridge? Or make coffee. It's FREE baby."

labil me : "Ah don't be such a pain in the ass deh you pelit. I only want some drink kali, not that expensive kan. You can ask dad for some cash. Eh, but if I drink soda I'll get fattier dong? Ah no deh! I go with you deh pelit. Eh, eh but Fruit Tea is also full of sugar yes? Ah same dong, also makes me fat. Then what should I drink dong? Aer putih doang? Lazy ah!"

after typing that last line barulah gw mikir:
pusing kebanyakan mikir
dan ngomong2, dialog diatas semua fiktif kok

Sunday, 6 February 2011

on BlogLovin now

just created that new account. kindly click the link below :)

Follow my blog with bloglovin

once upon a Saturday midnight...

I surfed the internet.
I listened to Stereophonics - Maybe Tomorrow.
I clicked "pause" on my iTunes.
I put on my orange spongy slippers.
I got in to my bathroom.
I did my toilet business.
I thought about... well, you.
I stepped my left foot out of my bathroom.
I stepped my right foot out of my bathroom.
It happened so fast, then
I felt my head hitting the wall.
I felt my bottom hitting the floor so hard.
I sat still, totally stunned.
I thought, anjir pala gw sakit banget.
I touched my upper right head.
First word popped up in my head :
Am I amnesiac?
Who am I? Yuke.
How to say my name in German? Ich bin Yuke.
OK, I'm not amnesiac.
Anjir masih tetep sakit.

Gimana caranya ngobatin benjol???

Thursday, 3 February 2011


Have a prosperous one for those who celebrate :D

(Gang Lombok - Semarang, around December 2009
photo by Yuke Adora Iskandar)

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

what is responsibility?

responsibility |riˌspänsəˈbilətē|noun ( pl. -ties)the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone : women bear children and take responsibility forchild care.the state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something :the group has claimed responsibility for a string of murders.the opportunity or ability to act independently and make decisions without authorization : we would expect individuals lower down the organization to take on more responsibility.(often responsibilities) a thing that one is required to do as part of a job, role, or legal obligation : he will take over the responsibilities of overseas director.[in sing. ] ( responsibility to/toward) a moral obligation to behave correctly toward or in respect of : individuals have a responsibility to control personal behavior.

(source : Dictionary application @ laptop)

as much as I could conclude, they said it's a duty to control and to be blamed at the same time. an obligation to behave.

for me, the word means much more than that. further than just 14 characters.

responsibility is a gift. something given to a person that is considered proper. it means, they trust you.
it's a burden. by taking it, you've already declared that you accepted all the risks. the risk to sacrifice extra time, extra concern, extra thoughts. it's very possible that you'll get sick, both physically and mentally. it means, it would kill you if you can't resist.
it's an acknowledgement. when people call you responsible, it means you are reliable, mature enough to conquer what your age demands from you. means you succeed to beat your own self and show up the best in you.
it's a call of the nature, something inevitable. the more day you've lived through, the bigger duties people will demand from you. like, you won't expect a 3 yr kid to clean up his own mess, right? nor a 40 yr man to take someone's life and not to feel bad about it. well the point is, it won't decrease. there will always be more to accomplish, more to concern. so you'd better keep up your speed before time leave you far behind.

overall, it's something I need to learn more. something that I think I haven't had yet. something I should, no, MUST have.

in the age of 19, I still think I live too freely. too happy-go-lucky. I set my goals, but never felt disappointed when I couldn't achieve them. for me there's always "next time". like, if I deserve it, it will find its own way to me. no matter how long, no matter after how many failures.
well, I can't tell whether this kind of thought is right or wrong. all I can conclude is, I'm taking everything too easily. always.

that's one thing I'm craving to change. like, hell, I'm becoming 20 soon, and what have I got?
I still end up fooling around with no job, while most of my friends could already feed themselves. no income yet more to spend. I simply hate this, don't ever think I'll feel proud spending my dad's stacks uselessly.

I have this one big dream, one dream job in the future. yet I didn't fight hard enough. my GPA keeps on decreasing and I couldn't gather up the will to struggle. I still felt like sleeping in class, neglecting all assignments, I didn't even bother to show up in class. one question : then how about your future? you want it so bad, but you do nothing to get it. heck?

anyways, why did all these randomness suddenly pop out?
I just agreed to accept one new responsibility, am currently thinking about it over and over again. I'm thinking, am I ready for this? am I capable enough to manage people, while I can't even manage myself? I'm afraid that I will screw up again, that's the big gigantic point.

well. I don't know. seriously. don't know.
so far I can say that I'll do my best. I'll show them, the ones who had trusted me, that I won't let them down. most of all, I hope it's not an anget anget tai ayam thing. I'll try to keep the will, kalo perlu sampe tai ayamnya jadi es batu gw harus semangat terus deh.

you win 'cause I'm not counting...

Been up all night, starring at you
Wondering what's on your mind
I've been this way with so many before
But this feels like the first time

You want the sunrise to go back to bed
I want to make you laugh...

Mess up my bed with me
Kick off the covers, I'm waiting
Every word you say I think I should write down
Don't want to forget come daylight

Happy to lay here
Just happy to be here
I'm happy to know you
Play me a song
Your newest one
Please leave your taste on my tongue

Paperweight on my back
Cover me like a blanket

Mess up my bed with me
Kick off the covers, I'm waiting
Every word you say I think I should write down
Don't want to forget come daylight

And no need to worry
That's wasting time
And no need to wonder
What's been on my mind
It's you, it's you...

Every word you say I think I should write down
Don't want to forget come daylight
And I give up
I let you win
You win 'cause I'm not counting

You made it back to sleep again
Wonder what you're dreaming...

(Paperweight - Joshua Radin ft. Schuyler Fisk
OST The Last Kiss & Dear John)