Maze, my mighty mate

This little rant today is dedicated to my private mate, my lifeless friend. Call him Maze.

13-inch Mac white, bought in July 2008. He's a vintage and I'm sorta proud. When everyone else is carrying their silvery glittery MacPro, I've got no shame dating with this old guy in public.

He's no longer a beauty by now. Just like human being, he's aging. Selling him is not a solution either. I've tried asking his value in an iBox about a year ago, and they scored him only like 1,8 Million or so. Like..... uhm. Better keep him home with me, with all the memories he's keeping #saelah

He has suffered lots of "sickness", here they go...

Cellotapes on left and right front side, the corner cracked (yea seriously) so I hold the broken piece with these tapes, hence it wouldn't be any tiny ugly hole there

Yellowy dirty spot on the trackpad. Well, guess I'll never get along too well with whites...

What's even worse? 3 months ago I accidentally splashed some amount of black coffee on the keyboard. Uhm nope, guess I poured it, to be more precise. Then my P, enter, and some other important buttons were not working. So as you can see, now I have to get along with this on-screen keyboard.

Another dirt mark...

And just minutes ago, I noticed that my webcam also stops working.

Well, that's my guy. My lifeless, non-hugable one, I mean.

He's definitely not the most sophisticated laptop on earth. In fact, he's in a poor condition because of the owner's carelessness, namely me. Why I'm writing this post, is simply as an expression of gratitude that he's still working after 3,5 yrs (and I'm using him right now, typing this stuff).

Lesson for you guys : Take better care of your stuffs. Most of them might not be bought by your personal expense, you got them from your papa or maybe from anyone else. Appreciate every single drop of sweat they wipe to give you those gadgets or whatever.

Oopsie. I'm pretty sure it's not a lesson-for-you-guys. It's for me.

Last last last last Monday Night

punchline #1

Rissa : (looking at the menu) "Hmm... Mbak? .... Lagi apa?"

punchline #2

Fira : "Mas mau pesen ORANGE NIPIS." (instead of jeruk nipis, or lime, or something)

punchline #3

Fira : (to the waiter, dengan nada super unyu 2011, bibir manyun remaja masa kini) "Maasss, punya aku manaaaa?"

punchline #4

(looking together at this cheese sausage)

"KOK KAYAK PALA K***** YA???"

(hint : that sensitive, private part dangling between guy's legs)

punchline #5

(on the way back to kost, inside the taxi, stuck on a minor traffic jam. saw a giant tractor crossing the street)

Caca : "Itu apaan dah ijo-ijo gede, kayak Godjali."

Me : "Hah? Godjali?"

Caca : "Eh maksud gw GODZILLA!"

Taxi Driver : (langsung ngumpetin muka, keliatan banget pengen ngakak tapi diempet)

well, those were my "unique" kost mates. ehm, not really sure if the word "unique" suits them right, actually.

quoting Catatan Harian Si Boy (not exactly the same, I typed as precise as I could remember) :

"Keluarga kita semua itu disfungsional. Karena itulah ada temen, mereka itu keluarga yang lo pilih sendiri."

(sumpah ini asal, pokoknya kira2 intinya begitu lah)

so, I don't really care about the fact that all of them are totally dysfunctional. I chose them, and I'm quite pleased to have all of them, those dysfunctional-in-a-good-way mates.

oh man sometimes I just don't understand, how could these moronic clowns be gathered, and why? man oh man

I call this, kebetulan yang salah

on the way to kost, then realized that my keys were left home. thank God I had my duplicates. I found them inside my bag, but there was only one key, when that was supposed to be two (from now on I'll call the first key, the one that I had as "kunci kamar" and the second one, which was gone, as "kunci gembok").

so I whatsapped my kost mates, in case one of them had my kunci gembok.

Me : "Ris kunci kamar gw di lo gak?"

Rissa : "Hah enggak, di Dea kayaknya. Atogak di Fira. Yang jelas gak di gw."

I called Fira, no answer. Dea, again. no answer. this is the point where I started to turn panic. then :

Rissa : "Fira gw BBM katanya dia gak megang yuk."

Me : "Mm. Yaudah gw nebeng kamar lo dulu deh ya."

Rissa saved my ass. there was nobody else in kost, so I'd be sleeping in front of my door right now if she were not around.

hours later, Dea texted me. turned out that her whatsapp was not in online mode.

Dea : "Yuk, di kosan gak?"

Me : "Iya. Eh de kunci gembok gw di kamar lo gak? Kunci gw ketinggalan, serep gw cuma ada yang kunci kamar."

Dea : "Iya ada di kamar gw kok. Bentar lagi gw pulang kos tungguin ya. Gapapa kan maleman?"

Me : "HALLELUYA! Gapapa banget de, yang penting ada."

but minutes later.....

Dea : "Yuk, KUNCI GW JUGA KETINGGALAN!"

let's just hashtag this one, #eaaa

what kind of sister (and brother) does He gave me?

Dea : (reading Gogirl) "Ini Gogirl tuh majalah keluarga ya?"

Me : "Iya, itu owner kakak adek encang encing satu marga semua."

Dea : "Kayaknya boleh tuh, kita bikin majalah keluarga. Namanya apa ya?"

Me : "Emm ini Gogirl kan ya... Kita bikin... Goceng!"

Dea : "Boleehhh! Nah trus nanti gw jadi editor merangkap modelnya, Dea A. Iskandar. Yuke A. Iskandar, lu jadi apa ya... Yang bagian fashion!"

Me : "Trus si Archie ganti aja namanya, jadi Fontana A. Iskandar. Biar kompak semua A. Iskandar kan, asik."

Dea : "Iya bener bener."

Me : "Tapi dia jabatannya jadi apa ya? Keuangan?"

Dea : "Kebagusan. Dia mah driver aja."

Me : "Hahaha jahat! Dia mau jadi driver apaan? Mobil gabisa motor gabisa."

Dea : "Sepeda."

Me : "Ya kalo gitu panteslah namanya majalah Goceng. Mureh..."

(another rambling about my life with these 2 silly dudes)

jadi teori evolusi benar, manusia berbulu lebat adalah hasil evolusi gorila

TV anchor : "...Kini ulat bulu tersebut diperkirakan sudah mencapai daerah Jakarta, terutama Jakarta Barat dan Jakarta Selatan..."

A : "Anjir udah sampe deket rumah gw lagi. Cepet-cepet aja deh dia metamorfosis."

B : "Hah emang ulet bulu bisa metamorfosis apa? Ngaco lu!"

A : "Iyalah namanya juga ulet! Semua ulet ya bakal jadi kupu-kupu."

B : "Terus dia metamorfosis jadi apa? Kupu-kupu bulu?"

A : "HAHAHAHA bukaaannnn jadi kupu-kupu coklat!"

Mas-mas warung : (nimbrung) "Aduh mbak tuh SDnya dimana sih?"

(Tuesday night, a small diner in Kukel, Depok. dinner with kost mates

p.s. : nama dirahasiakan demi menjaga harga diri pihak yang bersangkutan)

march-ing on, drumrolls please...

in the mood for forgetting assignments/tasks/tests/to-do notes/blahblah shite, throwing away books, dictionaries, papers and stuffs, then...

BERMALAS - MALASAN SAMPAI PUAS

sharing out my lazy theme songs (picked up 25 songs from 25 artists A-Z from my Recently Played tab. just another random act) :

A Day To Remember - You Had Me At Hello

Bright Eyes - Singularity

Corinne Bailey Rae - Closer

David Guetta feat Michelle Belle - Read Your Mind

Eliza Doolittle - Mr. Medicine

Flight Facilities - Splendour In The Grass

Green Day - Cigarettes and Valentines

Homogenic - Happy Without You

Ingrid Michaelson - Parachute

Jonquil - Fighting Smiles

Keren Ann - My Name Is Trouble

Lenka - Heart Skips A Beat

Martin Solveig & Dragonette - Boys & Girls

New Boyz feat Cataracs & The Dev - Back Seat

Olly Murs - Please Don't Let Me Go

Plan B feat Giggs - She Said

Queensberry - Hello

Rachel Yamagata - Worn Me Down

Sondre Lerche - Like Lazenby

The Strokes - Under Cover of Darkness

Uffie feat Pharrell Williams - ADD SUV

Victor Magan - Love Is A Gamble

White Lies - Bigger Than Us

X... can't find anything beside XPDC. nyieh -____-

You Me At Six feat. Chiddy Bang - Rescue Me

Zac Brown Band - Cold Weather

okay done with randomness. shud get back to work asap. emaaakkk... *mijetin leher pegel minta ampun*

cadas

Dea : "Cita-cita aku udah berubah. Pokoknya ntar aku mau nikah sama jendral pajak, trus aku bawa seluruh keluarga besar Iskandar keluar negeri, di Amrik apa dimana kek gitu. Hiihh amit-amit deh kelamaan disini pokoknya ntar gak ada lagi Iskandar di Indonesia gw bawa pergi semua gw abisin!"

Dad : "Hidih orang pajak udah tuwir semua kali."

Dea : "Yang penting duitnya gak bakal tuwir kan?"

(On a family chit chat about Indonesia and its out-of-mind policies)

like, seriously, errr, really? this is so nyampah

just wanna share this :

and this :

I'm currently buffering for those both while having this continuous headache. thanks to this essay assignment. some of you might have seen me tweeting about it in the past several hours. one small part of me feels like exploding soon. another part reminds me to keep my head chilled and take a brief rest. another yells at me "why the hell you opened that video? and now you're BLOGGING? hell. what's with you?" oh yes, good question.

I think I can make something out of it.

the book 24 Wajah Billy suddenly popped up. just few seconds ago. then I came up with this :

11 Faces of Me : Pergolakan Hati Melawan SA

(Why 11? I can't think of another 13 ideas, besides I'm too lazy to think that much)

geeky me : (talking about assignment) "So, I guess it's people's right to choose whether they want to be religious or not. Not going to church on Sundays doesn't mean you're a criminal or what, right? So the gov should give us freedom to..."

whiny me : "Hey geeky can you please STOP? Fark it should we do this every week? May I enjoy my weekend in peace, s'il te plait? I already had enough German words to kill me by now. AARRGGHH!!!!!"

wise me : "Whiny don't you remember, who forced you to choose German at the first place? No one, as far as I could remember. So stop whining, just finish it with all of your effort. When you graduate you'll find all these very useful, trust me kiddo."

selfish me : "Well I'm not blaming my choice here. I just want to enjoy my weekend! I'm tired, I'm acutely insomniac, I've got other important things to do beside this shite. All I want is my regular weekend, coffee on Saturday, eat out with family, random blog surfing, anything. I don't care if it's useless. It's me, I don't care what others might say."

shopaholic me : "And don't forget shopping! Remember what mom said this morning? She wanted to fetch that discount on Harvey Nics. NAH! Grab the chance lah."

hedon / fatty me : "Then dinner at Social House! I want some steak. Oh, and a glass of red wine would be nice too. Then Crystal Jade bread for next morning's breakfast. Oh, also Red Mango for dessert. Strawberry sounds delicious. Emmm what else..."

ignorant me : "Geez you thought a lot. Don't you feel any headache, having THAT much thoughts spinning in you? Forget it lah. Relax."

cool me : "Yeah dude. Relax, will you? Know what, I'm thinking about going out somewhere right now. Maybe 7/11? I need something fresh, like Blueberry Slurpee. And some beer. And cigs. Black Menthol. I need those like a lot."

paranoid me : "Oh my God, cigs? Don't! You don't try that, NEVER. It's not good for your health. You want to die young, lady? And beers? You forgot your tummy probs? And look at your big tummy! You don't want it to be any bigger."

pelit me : "Yes I'm with you paranoid. Besides, you know how much a Slurpee costs? A pack of cigs? A bottle of Hein? You said you want to save some money for your next trip, I'm pretty sure. So instead of those, why don't you just get some Fruit Tea in fridge? Or make coffee. It's FREE baby."

labil me : "Ah don't be such a pain in the ass deh you pelit. I only want some drink kali, not that expensive kan. You can ask dad for some cash. Eh, but if I drink soda I'll get fattier dong? Ah no deh! I go with you deh pelit. Eh, eh but Fruit Tea is also full of sugar yes? Ah same dong, also makes me fat. Then what should I drink dong? Aer putih doang? Lazy ah!"

after typing that last line barulah gw mikir:

TERUS KAPAN GW BIKIN TUGASNYA KOK MALAH NGEBLOG?

aduh

random

maaf

pusing kebanyakan mikir

dan ngomong2, dialog diatas semua fiktif kok

once upon a Saturday midnight...

I surfed the internet.

I listened to Stereophonics - Maybe Tomorrow.

I clicked "pause" on my iTunes.

I put on my orange spongy slippers.

I got in to my bathroom.

I did my toilet business.

I thought about... well, you.

I stepped my left foot out of my bathroom.

I stepped my right foot out of my bathroom.

It happened so fast, then

GEDEBUK.

I felt my head hitting the wall.

I felt my bottom hitting the floor so hard.

I sat still, totally stunned.

I thought, anjir pala gw sakit banget.

I touched my upper right head.

Benjol.

SAKIT.

First word popped up in my head :

AMNESIA.

Am I amnesiac?

Who am I? Yuke.

How to say my name in German? Ich bin Yuke.

OK, I'm not amnesiac.

Halleluyah.

CENUUTTT.

Anjir masih tetep sakit.

TOLONG.

Gimana caranya ngobatin benjol???

points of today. I'll just make it compact, I'm tired

- RTC meeting at campus, then left with Aan to take a bus. left my wallet in RTC. thank God still have IDR50k.

- first time in my life taking a Metro Mini. what a record -__-"

- stopped by Aan's house. rode to Istora Senayan to see N.E.R.D. then arrived at 5 PM. still very few people. less than 10 people when I reached the venue, I think. fyi, cool people with fancy outfits were like everywhere.

- opening act by S.O.B at 8.30 PM. Iwa K & Eno Netral were on that band. quite good. 2nd one : RAN. the crowd wasn't appreciative at all. felt so sorry for RAN.

- around half 10 N.E.R.D. entered the stage. Chad didn't come, only Pharrell & Shae.

- Shae was quite passive. stayed behind Pharrell during the whole show.

- Pharrell? total flirty. he was a professor-womanizer I think. once he jumped down from the stage and hugged a random girl. then he asked another girl to come up to the stage. this girl knew every single word in every songs, that's why she was picked. she got hugs and kisses from Pharrell. GEEZ

- not enough with a girl, he also picked a man. this man had the same tattoo as Pharrell's. WOW. both the boy and the girl stayed on stage until the end of the show.

- overall performance? AWESOME. it was beyond words. cool. spectacular. DAMN. one of the best gig I've ever seen.  at first I thought "they're not communicative, snob." later they went wild and far wilder.

- some songs I remembered : She Wants To Move, Spaz, Sooner Or Later, Sacred Temple, Lapdance, Everyone Nose, Hypnotize U, Hot N Fun, Rock Star Poser, couldn't remember the rest.

- in the end of the show, Pharrell jumped down again and nyalamin SEMUA penonton di deret depan. iya, SEMUA ujung sampe ujung. ini yang paling bikin nyesel kenapa gw gak nonton festival coba. gw dateng pagi banget kalo gw di festival PASTI DAPET DISALAMIN! maaf jadi curcol.

- he signed his white T-shirt, took it off, then gave it to the girl (the lucky one on the stage). and also his hat for the tattoo boy. fyi, I saw someone threw a pink BRA to the stage. and the camera kept on shooting it. man....

- show was done at 11 PM. went to Starbucks Sarinah to get some drink. then went back home. nah. kutukan nyasar gw terbukti gak ilang2. salah turun tol, setengah jam lebih nyasar di Bekasi entah belahan mana sampe terminal sampe entah itu dimana. akhirnya sampe rumah dengan selamat dan lemas.

percakapan di atas tol :

Me : "Wow udah sampe sini udah bener nih. Selamat cuy lo orang pertama yang gak gw bikin nyasar!"

Aan : "Wow! Bikinin gw sertifikat!"

Me : "Oke ini benar2 harus dirayakan. Kutukan nyasar gw sudah berakhir!"

setelah 3-4 kali ngelewatin jalan yang sama :

Aan : (terdiam lemas) "Oke yuk, sertifikatnya batal ya."

well. congratulations, I just got my 6th nyasar victim. let's re-list them up :

KORBAN NYASAR OLEH YUKE ADORA

1. Budi, mau ke Bekasi nyasar sampe Halim Perdanakusuma

2. Pingkan, mau ke rumah nyasar 100 meter dari rumah, kejebak portal

3. Caca, mau ke Bekasi nyasar ke Tanjung Priuk

4 & 5. Fira & Bandoro, mau ke Kemang nyasar ke Menteng

6. Aan, mau ke rumah nyasar sampe Bekasi pelosok2 entah itu daerah namanya apa

udah males pake Inggris lah. cape mikir

foto2 semua di kamera Aan. ntar nyusul kali ya. mau cepet2 ngegeletak di atas bantal.

PSPB 2010 behind the scene

PSPB (Pentas Seni & Pentas Budaya)

An annual event as part of Festival Budaya FIB UI (Cultural Festival of Faculty of Humanities), commonly abbreviated as FesBud. It was always held in December to celebrate FIB's Dies Natalis (some kind of birthday, I guess) and consisted of some sub-events : PSPB & Pawai (both were handled by 2nd year students), Petang Kreatif (theatrical performance by 1st year students), and some other else (didn't know the exact names).

And for PSPB 2010, German 2009 batch proudly presented...

The Sound Of Music, Betawi version

why Betawi? not that we loved the culture so damn much or what, that's just the main requirement of the contest, that's all. to make it even more complicated, they only gave 10 mins for each performance. like, geez? we needed to make our own storyline and deleted sooooo many scenes.

so, our own creation of this classic timeless piece told about a family that ran away from Austria to Batavia (jauh abis emang) to avoid Hitler's authority. the father (Capt von Trapp) needed a nanny, so he hired one (Mariem, yes it's not Maria, I didn't misspell it) from an agen penyalur baby sitter.  all the 7 children were raised with strict military rules, but then the nanny brought them a new cheerful and lively ambience. soon the father fell for herand propose her. then they live happily with lots of karedok and semur jengkol, tadaahhh! (no, the last one wasn't in the story, don't eat that lie).

enough typing, here's some snaps from the showcase preparation ...

masih wanita

step 1 : thick shading

step 2 : thick eyebrow + moustache

et voilá!

the girl on the right was Maria (or Mariem, in this play) ...

this one? yea, me.

Gretl, child #7

Louisa, child #3 (eh apa Brigitta ya namanya? lupa)

Kurt, child #4

the mean babysitter. rawrrrr

Gretl with Marta, child #6

photos from the performance is coming up soon. don't have any, need to wait for the others to upload them. but overall, the whole short-show was beyond expectations. I don't really think about the winner title, but one thing I got from the long-yet-tiring rehearsals : unity in the name of DE 09

I'm pretty sure my dad is actually 17, not 48

*situasi : semobil berdua bokap, abis nganter Dea les, gw nyetir, lagi belok tikungan tajam dan menanjak*

gw : "Ih kok bau sih papi kentut ya? Adoohh mana jendela mana jendela??" *kelabakan ngeraba2 mencet jendela*

bokap : "Iya, sengaja biar kamu latian nyetir sambil buka jendela."

gw : "Hidih ALIBI!"

another case ...

*situasi : nemenin shopping, udah sampe depan kasir*

gw : "Loh siapa yang beli fedora?"

bokap : "Papi."

gw : "Oo oke. Bagus."

bokap : "Kapan2 kamu pake jalan oke tuh."

gw : "Siplah ntar kalo ada kontes mirip MJ aku pake deh."

*sampe parkiran*

bokap : "Ke fotoin papi dong."

gw : *motret* "Nih."

bokap : "Yah mukanya gak oke nih. Lagi dong."

gw : *yaudah pasrah foto lagi*

bokap : "Ke yang tadi jadiin dp bbm dong."

gw : *ngatur dp bbm* "Udah nih, yang ini kan?"

bokap : "Iya. Sekalian jadiin profpic fb juga deh. Tapi pinggirnya potong dulu jangan ada pager2nya. Biar foto sama mobil aja kan ganteng tuh."

gw : ................ *melirik Dea*

dea : "Papa kita kenapa sih?"

gw : "Seolah gw ngerti..."

here I present you the one man that makes my life never flat. he's like my personal Chitato.

from him I learned how to be a father, leader, best friend, gossip mate, shopping partner, hardworker, painter, art lover, economist, smart football bettor, case analyst, everything almost at the same time

tak ada teman seaneh Zahra Syafira

Kost room, Monday Sept 6th around 4-5 PM

Me : Fir siapa yang sakit?

Fira : Bagus.

Me : Bagus sakit apa?

Fira : Duh Bagus tuh kasian banget deh yuk. Jadi gini, kan dia suka sama cewek tuh. Dia udah berubah banget supaya tu cewek suka sama dia, sekarang jadi lurus, udah berhenti ngerokok.

Me : Ooo yang dia berhenti ngerokok tuh gara2 cewek? Astaga sampe segitunya dah.

Fira : Iya yuk, pokoknya dia udah berkorban banyak banget demi ini cewek. Ampe dibeliin boneka setinggi pinggang segala yuk.

Me : Gila kurang gede. Terus nih cewek gasuka sama dia gitu?

Fira : Iyaaaa cewek ini temennya Anhar kan ya. Dia bilang ke Anhar pertamanya suka sama Bagus, terus lama2 jadi males. Terus Bagus patah hati deh.

Me : Jadi Bagus sampe sakit gara2 patah hati? Gila.

Fira : Bukan, kakinya yang sakit.

Me : Loh? Sakit kenapa?

Fira : KUKUNYA COPOT. Diinjek adeknya terus disengkat. Terus kukunya 5 biji copot semua.

Me : Terus hubungannya sama patah hati apaan?

Fira : GAK ADA.

Me : ............................. GOBLOK.

I believe "nyasar" is my middle name

tonight's post is specially dedicated for Fira & Bandoro, who have just witnessed my hidden talent as, well, some kind of compass-wrecker.

the whole disaster happened on Friday, July 30th 2010.

started at Depok, around 3 PM.

Fira and I asked Bando's favor to take us to Emax Kemang. we were supposed to get there at 4 PM since Caca and her band performed exactly at that hour. and here's our conversation inside Bando's car :

Bando : "Yuk lo tau jalan ke Kemang kan?"

Fira : "Jiaah Yuke lagi ditanyain, jalan ke rumah sendiri aja dia gak afal hahahaha"

Bando : "Hah serius? Hahahaha!"

Me : "Sompret lu fir. Eh emang lu gatau jalan ndo?"

Bando : "Kagak."

Me : "Lu juga gatau lagi fir?"

Fira : "Kagak."

Me : "LOH JADI INI GADA YANG TAU JALAN???"

Fira & Bando : "KAGAK."

hal pertama yang terlintas di otak gw : MAMPUS.

so I instantly called my dad. thank God I was born from a GPS-brained man (though I didn't get that gene at all T_T).

my dad explained all the detailed way from Depok to Kemang. I repeated every single word he said so that Bando and Fira could hear it too. but after I hung up the phone :

Bando : "Jadi abis ini kemana?"

Me : "Lah emang daritadi gw ngomong lo gak denger?"

Bando : "KAGAK."

Me : "MAIGAT."

lucky that I still remembered some important points. but turned out that it wasn't enough to prevent the upcoming catastrophe.

Me : "Loh tadi harusnya belok kiri!"

Fira : "Tadi kayaknya satu arah deh yuk."

Me : "Terus gimana dong ini?"

so I called dad, again :

Me : "Pi ini arahnya bener Mampang Prapatan kan?"

Dad : "Iya. Pokoknya kalo udah lurus kamu belok kiri aja."

Me : "Nah tadi belokannya kelewatan pi. Gimana dong?"

Dad : Pokoknya kalo ada belokan ke kiri langsung belok. Tar tinggal tanya orang kalo Kemang lewat mana."

we did as daddy said. then :

Bando : "Eh ini yakin lewat gang gini? Belok mana nih?"

Yuke : "Udah ikutin mainstream aja. Liat mobil2 di depan pada kemana ikutin aje."

Fira : "Ikutin mobil depan! Gw yakin dia mau ke suatu tempat, mau ke Kemang juga pasti."

then not long after that, the car stopped in front of a house.

Me : "Iye fir dia mau ke suatu tempat, KE RUMAHNYA."

and then, new disaster came : the path was VERBODEN

so Fira got out of the car, tried to ask someone about the right way. I stayed in the car to help Bando retreating the car.

Bando : "Kiri masih jauh kan?"

Me : "(liat belakang) Jauh2. (nengok ke depan. then : CRIEEETTTT)

Bando : "APAAN TUH???"

see this pict, and you'll see what happened. mobilnya ngebaret tembok aja gitu -___-"

we finally got out of the tight pathway. but always, shit happens.

1. macet parah

2. mau belok kiri, tapi gara2 semua lagi celeng akhirnya Bando gajadi belok dan tetep lurus. sementara lurus itu adalah ke arah Menteng Kuningan

3. mau belok di belokan selanjutnya, terus ketutupan bis sekolah, jadi kita gatau ada belokan ke kiri

after 2 hours inside the car, with huge nervousness and massive panic attack. we finally made it to Kemang. 

HALLELUIAH!!!!!!

di saat orang normal nyetir 2 jam bisa sampe Bandung, kita cuma bisa sampe Kemang. fine -_____-

lucky that Caca's performance was postponed until 5 PM. so right after we arrived, the performance started.

Dear Lord, there's only 2 things I desperately wish :

1. hilangkan kutukan nyasar dari diriku Ya Tuhan. udah 5 ORANG yang jadi korban nih!

2. semoga gak akan ada korban ke ENAM. 

AMIN YA TUHAN AMIIINNNN!!!

FYI, there's one part of conversation that I have to highlight :

Bando : "Heran deh, biasanya kalopun nyasar gw tinggal raba2 dikit tar juga pasti sampe. Kok hari ini feeling gw tumpul ya?"

Fira : "Gara2 Yuke kali. Yuk kayaknya lo terkutuk deh, setiap siapa yang nebengin lo pasti nyasar. Caca yang gapernah nyasar aja bisa nyasar sama lo. Hahahahhaa"

Me : "Oke gimana kalo gw turun aja sekarang? Mungkin kalo gada gw lo berdua bisa langsung sampe Kemang? Kayaknya beneran deh gw ada kutukan nyasar..."

read this before you become my 4th, hehe

main point of today :

Why I always have problem on remembering the way back home (or simply, the way to EVERYWHERE)

so far there've already been 3 friends who took me home, and I successfully made all the three of them got lost with me.

let's just make a short review :

victim #1 - February 2009 after watching CC Jazz Nite, around 1-2 AM

starting point : Canisius College, Menteng

destination : Home, Bekasi

ended up at : HALIM PERDANAKUSUMA AIRPORT

victim #2 - September 2009 after Michelle's sweet 17, around 11 PM

starting point : Hotel Borobudur, Jakpus

destination : Home, Bekasi

ended up at : about 100M away from home.

I simply could walk, but (1) I wouldn't walk fully dressed up, alone in the midnight (2) there was portal everywhere, and I didn't know how to get my friends outta there

victim #3 - exactly YESTERDAY

now that's what I wanna tell you all about.

Caca, my friend in Kost, wanted to go to airport. her BF, Buwa, was leaving to Melbourne to continue his study there. but the flight was at 10 PM, and Caca was too afraid to drive alone back home. so she asked me to go with her, then she slept over in my house. yeah, at least that was the plan.

the ride from campus was slightly fine, and we could make it there on time. we left at 9 PM, and that was when the disaster started... TA DAAHHH

since Caca isn't that familiar to Bekasi streets, I called my dad and asked the way back home from Airport. the conversation went up a bit like this :

me : "Pi ni aku baru sampe tol. Terus kalo mau ke Bekasi lewat mana?

dad : "Udah ngelewatin XXX (gw lupa nama tempatnya) belom? Kamu sekarang di mana?"

me : "Hah gatau pokoknya tol."

dad : "Ya iyaaaaa tol mana???"

me : "Gatauuuu ini jalan doang gada tulisan apa2nya."

dad : "Loh tol yang mana sih???"

me : "Pokoknya tol pertama dari keluar bandara deh aku gatau namanya."

dad : "LOH KAMU DI BANDARA? NGAPAIN?"

me : "LOH KAN TADI PAGI AKU UDAH BILANG PAPIIIIII!!!"

- ZONK #1 -

(I cropped this part, panjang gila)

dad : "Kalo gitu kamu lurus terus, pokoknya ambil arah XXX (lupa juga) nanti kalo udah ambil kiri, JANGAN lewat Bogor, JANGAN lewat TMII, tapi ambil arah Cawang"

me : "Oke (repeating the instruction to Caca)"

dad : "Pokoknya kamu lewat XXX dulu, terus ke XXX, baru nanti ke XXX, bla bla bla (panjang banget pokoknya)"

me : "Oke aku ulang ya, jadi blablabla..."

dad : "Pokoknya kamu lewat XXX dulu, terus blablabla..."

me : "Oke oke ngerti"

dad : "Pokoknya kamu lewat XXX dulu, terus blablabla..."

me : "Iya iyaaaaaa"

dad : "Pokoknya kamu lewat XXX dulu, terus blablabla..."

and he kept on repeating the same sentence for IDK how many times.

to make it even worse : as soon as I hung up the phone, I FORGOT ALL THE INSTRUCTIONS.

-ZONK #2-

well, but thank God I've got Caca as the driver. she's an excellent one, she never got lost during her lifetime. though her driving always makes me scream "CACAAAAAA AWAAAASSS!!!" or "CACA REEEEMMMMM!!!" or "CA CA CA CA CA HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!", but at least she knows how to drive. hahaha

yup, this is Caca, my 3rd pity victim

okay then, back to the street. we absolutely didn't know how, but then she noticed something wrong...

caca : "Juk ini kok banyak kontainer ya?"

me : "Jangan bilang ini ke arah Bantar Gebang lagi"

caca : "HAHAHA GAK LAAAHHH gila kali"

then after some hundred meters, I finally understood what was wrong with us.

me : "Ca, tadi bokap gw bilang kita ke Cilincing ya?"

caca : "Iya."

me : "Beneran dia bilang Cilincing?"

caca : "Iya kan? Kan gw denger tadi. Pokoknya dibilang kita ambil arah Tanjung Priok terus Cilincing."

me : "Kok itu di papan jalan Pelabuhan Tanjung Priok ya?"

caca : "Oke berhenti dulu deh mendingan. Telpon bokap lo."

when I called dad :

me : "Pi ini kok aku sampenya di Pelabuhan Tanjung Priok ya?"

dad : "LOH KAMU TUH DIMANA KOK BISA SAMPE SITU???"

me : "Gatau aku ngikutin jalan terus sampenya disini. Kan tadi papi bilang ke Cilincing kan?"

dad : "KAN PAPI BILANG JANGAN AMBIL CILINCING KAMU BUDEK YA? MAKANYA SOK SIH JADI ORANG! ^*(%)$#(@%^*)$)?"+$"

- ZONK #3 -

hal pertama yang gw dan Caca lakukan adalah : NGAKAK

after a long long looonnngggg way to go, finally we could make it to Kalimalang.

me : "NAH KALO SAMPE SINI MAH GW UDAH AFAL! Ini mah udah daerah guaaaaaa!!!"

caca : "Beneran lo afal juk?"

me : "Iyeeee bener."

wajar sih dia takut juga, since her clean sheet record was successfully broken by no one but ME. sorry ya baby :p

and thank God we could reach home sehat selamat tanpa kekurangan apapun.

terbukti deh Tuhan masih sayang sama kita ca.

okay, that's enough about yesterday.

pesan moral : 

(1) ternyata memori gw lebih parah daripada ikan mas koki, yang katanya cuma bisa inget sesuatu selama 3 detik abis itu langsung lupa

(2) deep apologies for all of my victims, jangan kapok ya nganterin gw balik :p

(3) make sure you have a map on your car, in case someday gw mau nebeng hahaha

oiya! I just remembered.

there are other 3 friends who've taken me home for several times and never get lost : DITA, IRMA, AND PUPUT.

not because their drivers are F1 drivers nor Fast and Furious actors, simply because THEY ALSO LIVE IN BEKASI.

okay, blame it on my weak memory.

The Boatengs : Drama of Separated Brothers

just made a script about Jerome Boateng and Kevin-Prince Boateng, two brothers fighting for different countries in World Cup 2010.

got the inspiration after chatting with a friend. we discussed about what J & K might say when they passed each other on field. I thought that this true story can be an alternative for RCTI cliche sinetrons. enjoy! :)

as a preface, please open this link.

read the "Personal Life" section

(Germany vs Ghana, critical minutes before the referee blew his whistle to end half-time)

Kevin : Happy to play against your country huh, brother?

Jerome : Happy to play against your so-called brother, do you?

Kevin : Sure I'm happy, 'cause today I'll kick your richy rich ass. Screw that German living you got! You know me and mom are suffering back in Ghana, huh? You don't know, cause you're busy with your Euro stacks!

Jerome : What the heck are you blabbering about? Why don't you just gimme the ball and let the match continues? See, the world's waiting.

Kevin : Oh you want the ball. You want ME to give YOU the ball??? No! I won't give you anything, anymore! You've taken daddy away, forget that son of bitch?

Jerome : Don't you dare calling my mom a bitch!

Kevin : Oh yeah she's nothing but a bitch. How else should you call a woman who stole away someone else's husband?

Jerome : Haha, you speak as if you knew everything. Don't you know that my mom wasn't guilty at all? It's daddy who seduced her all the time! You didn't know that, do you?

Kevin : What???

Jerome : Yeah! You guys in Ghana always cursed my mommy. SHE'S NOT A BITCH AT ALL! She's the sweetest mommy you would ever know!

Kevin : Oh yes, speaking about sweet mommy, of course she's the best mommy-dummy on earth. She always gives you everything you want! With her unlimited stock of cash and her goddamned airplanes. You know hey brother, while you were enjoying a VIP class seat far away there, I had to walk everywhere on foot! Well, or maybe with becak, when I was lucky.

Jerome : Geez, what is becak? Never heard such weirdo before.

Kevin : Sure you don't know anything about becak, mommy's sweet pumpkin. My mom was completely broke after daddy left! You know what she did to feed me? She became a becak rider!

Jerome : Oh, feed you with becak, huh? How did it taste lil brother? Perhaps crunchy with all the rust on it? Hahaha!

Kevin : Shut your fuckin mouth! Without that becak, I won't even be here, fighting for my Ghana. Of course you won't understand, your flashy German home had turned you blind, right? Haha!

Jerome : Stop. Talking. Or. I'll. Break. Your. Neck. BASTARD!

Kevin : No I won't stop until your mom pays off my mommy's burden!

Jerome : Stupid ass, don't you understand? Get real! It's not about my mommy, nor yours. It's just daddy alone!

Kevin : What's daddy doing in this?

Jerome : Who left you and your mommy? DADDY! Who flew far away to germany just to be a inglorious waiter, then married a billionaire lady? DADDY! Who lived behind his new wife's back? DADDY! Who sucked out my mommy's money? Surely DAD! He's the one responsible for this!

Kevin : Holy crap..... (petrified in silence) How come I didn't see it all this time?

Jerome : See? So please stop cursing my sweet mommy! Let her rest in peace! (tears appear on his eyes)

Kevin : Rest in.. Wait, what did you mean?

Jerome : She was hit by our private jet last week, right after visiting me here, in Africa!

Kevin : What? ...... My deep condolences, brother.

Jerome : Yeah, thanks.

Kevin : Perhaps we can visit her grave in Berlin? How does that sound?

Jerome : What? You... visiting my mommy?

Kevin : Well, if that's okay with you. I don't wanna start the fire here.

Jerome : No no that sounds wonderful!

Kevin : Really? So, you don't mind?

Jerome : 'Course not!

Kevin : How about now?

Jerome : What 'now'?

Kevin : We fly to Berlin, now!

Jerome : Huh, are you nuts?

Kevin : You know what, I'm tired with this. I'm tired with Africa, I'm tired of kicking the ball every minute of everyday, and I'm sick with Milovan! He's such a pain in my ass.

Jerome : Well, you're losing your mind Kev.

Kevin : Fine! I don't care if you don't want to go with me, but I'm outta here. I'm done with this stupid metal cup.

Jerome : Wait, you're bailing out?

Kevin : Yeah!

Jerome : I'm with you

Kevin : Wow! Really?

Jerome : Yes, really. In fact, I'll call my assistant right now. He's gonna take care of our plane tickets right away.

Kevin : Fantastic! So, we leave now?

Jerome : Yup.

(they walked out of the field with their hands tied up together, and a sparkling shine on their eyes. supporters stop blowing their vuvuzela, confused to see this act of melodrama)

THE END! ta-daahh :D

once again, this is just a plain fiction. don't take too seriously! haha