4th semester

I'm currently enjoying my gabut time on bed, after one week quarantine with final exams and so on and so on. well the finals aren't finished yet. the last one (and the hardest one) is still coming on the way. well at least we've got enough time to take a slow, deep breath, and make sure that everyone's gonna give their best shot.

in such short period, only about 4 months, there are lots of things - no, not lots, too much things - that I've learned, I've known, I've achieved, I've lost. I mean like, this first half of 2011 is really... hectic, both in a fun and a frustrating way.

so, I just started working on 2 clothing lines at once (yes this is an official confirmation : I work there, I don't own the labels myself). the first one is Legal&Crime, with simple, edgy, and androgynous twist as its signature style. their main identity is somehow so... me. no overpriced brands nor over-embellished outfits. anyways I'm so impressed with one other label, Delima, especially with the idealism to bring Indonesian culture to a higher level of consumption through fashion. that's why Delima's products are made of 100% handmade local fabric and bought directly from the craftsman in small regions and villages all around the country. I decided to take part in these 2 different teams, both as marketing assistant.

through Legal&Crime and Delima I learn about one important word : professionalism.

when you're stressed out with univ assignments, personal problems, mood swing, PMS, or anything else, here's the point : your job goes on. I learned to put a decent smile (euphemism for the word "fake") and keep the pressure deep deep down on the bottom of my head. in front of people, you always have to smile and look happy, because you're representing the whole brand, not just yourself.

putting job thingies aside, univ life is an absolute pain in the ass. it's true what most seniors and lecturers had said before : 4th semester is a semester of penjagalan. I can't find suitable words and phrases to describe it, it's just... well. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude that this semester is about to end very soon.

after 4 months without enough proper sleep, almost 4 months I couldn't have a weekend escape without worrying about papers and stuffs, I now understand the word "resistance". based on my own experience and conclusion, it's one of the most important things you need beside commitment and strong will. without that R word, I should've resigned and looked for another much-much-easier major. or worse, I should've stayed at home 24/7, doing nothing but being a useless piece of crap.

friendship. another term that I've understood better by now. I found real friends, real people that never pretend and never lie. with whom I can really be myself. I can fart, burp, or whatever, yet I'm sure they won't leave me. on the other hand I also found the fake ones. the ones who talked about me behind my back then laughed with me, talked something bad about someone else. well, I can't say I hate them though. because of them, I know one main rule of making friends : take them to see your darkest, worst side. the ones who stay, they're the ones who are worthy to be called "friends".

letting go. I've been struggling for something specific since several months, but I decided to let it go. one lesson I got from this : life goes on. there's no such thing as remote control nor pause/rewind/fast-forward features, so you must always move forward, no matter what happens. yes, I've heard those words like millions of times before, but I barely listened to them. now I see, thank you to both of you. yes, you two.

well. I scrolled up and down through this page then I thought like, I've been rambling too much and too randomly. guess most of the readers won't really get what I meant, especially the second last paragraph. but hope you enjoy afterall, this is my purest form of expression :)